Into the dark...Chiang Mai part one

2/14/2008

It’s Valentine’s Day and I have now been out of the dark for about a week. It has taken me a while to open up this journal again. I think the writer’s block has hit me because I’m not sure how to describe the things I “saw” in the dark.

We arrived at Tao Garden Wellness Retreat early so we would have a full day to explore our surroundings before the lights went out.

Let me interject some information here. This is what the Tao Garden web-site says about the darkness retreat: The higher Inner Alchemy Formulas, which traditionally were practiced in caves,
are taught in a complete darkness environment, which has been specially created to facilitate the teaching and practice of higher level Taoist Alchemical Meditation.
During the darkness retreat you will have completely free from any external light source or food consumption and we will be use Pi gu Healing Taoist / Chinese herb also Juices & Sesame, Herbal Detox Teas and Fruits will be provided to you for 3 time per day.

Also, it should be noted that I had never done ANY study of the Tao prior to this retreat and therefore had zero business being at this particular function. Ok…now we can get back to the journal.

The point of this wellness retreat is for those practicing the Tao to find an extraordinary resource to delve deeper into their spiritual education and for those who practice less often to find a relaxing and peaceful atmosphere. Here, you can also find treatments aimed at making you spiritually whole and healthy. What were my treatments on the first day? Colon hydrotherapy and abdominal massage called Chi Ne Tsang. The massage is supposed to release toxins in your system. These toxins can help make you sick and cause abdominal pain. Once the toxins are released it is up to the patient to drink a lot of water to flush those toxins out of your system rather than re-absorbing them into your body. The massage itself was terribly painful and oddly emotional. I shed tears for both reasons but afterwards I felt incredible and even walked with better posture! According to Tao Garden, toxins can be trapped in the abdomen from stress and/or negative memories. Although I didn’t study the Tao, I definitely think there may be something to this school of thought.

As far as the colon hydrotherapy goes, it’s everything you probably heard it is. It’s a great way to clear any “blockages” in your colon and it can also reveal parasites or other serious problems that should be addressed. The average person may actually need two to three treatments to clean the entire colon. I did one treatment before the darkroom and two after.

I also tried “cupping” on the first day. Cupping is an attempt to extract toxins from your body using suction. I didn’t notice any extraordinary results (if any) myself.

The founder of Tao Garden is Mantak Chia. He is very passionate about spreading the Tao to everyone he can. One of the things Master Chia does to help others with their practice is he puts on workshops and seminars. These events are put on in various places around the world and sometimes they are at Tao Garden. The “darkroom” was one of these. The idea is that being in complete darkness takes away outside distractions and gives people a unique opportunity to search themselves spiritually. Master Chia told me “when you are in the dark, you have nowhere else to look except inside yourself”. It was also suggested to me that God himself IS darkness. To support this idea the first sentence in the Bible is referenced: “In the beginning there was darkness”. Some Taoists believe that being in the dark may give you a chance to “meet your maker”.

The darkroom:

We stepped into a simple two-story building. The center on the bottom floor was a common area and the center on top was open to the bottom like a loft might be. Around all four sides of the building (top and bottom) were the rooms (condos). It reminded me of a college dormitory. Mats covered the floor of the common area. The mats would be used for meditation and classes while in the dark program. Once you chose your mat you had to remember exactly where it was so you could get there in the dark. My mat was 4^th in from the right and second from the top. J

Our room was upstairs. It had a bed, a dinning set (small w two chairs), night stands and a coffee table that was pushed up against a wall. I imagine they did that so we wouldn’t trip over it when the lights went out. Everything was against at least one wall. We also had our own bathroom. Our first night was used to explore our surroundings before the lights were turned out. At 11pm the next night, the breakers were switched to off. The windows and doors of the building were covered from the outside with some kind of thick, black material. The (plastic maybe?) was held in place by a bamboo frame that was “built” around the building and the black material. The entire program lasts four weeks but we only signed up for one of those four weeks.

Meals were delivered to the building by staff members using night vision goggles. Each individual meal was in a plastic bag. Each item was in it’s own Tupperware container. The first day and a half we were on a papaya fast. They said papaya cleans out your digestive system so, we ate papaya…in complete blackness. For the first day and a half, every meal was papaya with a side of papaya. I used to kind of like papaya. That’s not really the case now. After the papaya, we had vegetarian meals with ingredients that I will never be able to confirm thanks to my lack of sight and familiarity with what grows in Thailand. Most of it tasted awful. (I actually did not eat papaya for at least two years after this.)

To be honest, I was nervous that I might find something out about myself that could be devastating or life-changing. Fear turned into anticipation and anticipation turned into disappointment. Since I cannot say that I had any extraordinary experiences or visions, my time spent in the dark was just that…time spent in the dark.

I passed the time with sleep. A lot of sleep. (that was actually nice) I would also press my ear against the sliding glass door, to the balcony (that, of course, we could not use), in our room. The noises from the outside world were satisfying. (Another Taoist “Master” who was not in the darkroom would play some kind of instrument I could not identify at the time. Turns out it was a stringed piece called a "gu-qing". Whenever I heard him play I was comforted.)

On the third day I managed to smuggle in some chocolate. I used the phone in our room to call the reception desk. I begged them to bring me something sweet. A few minutes and 100 baht later (Thai currency), a staff member with night-vision goggles came to our room with some miniature candy bars. Jim and I eagerly sat down at our table and ripped the packaging off of the chocolate pieces. Suddenly, we saw the first speck of lovely white colored light in three days! It came from the packaging! The static electricity from the foil wrappers sparked as we tore it open. Most people have never seen this (if any) because most people don’t go to the back of the deepest cave they can find before turning off their flashlights for a few days and most people don’t go in the dark room and order chocolate! We found extreme pleasure in the sparks from the candies. We didn’t just think it was “cool”, we thought this was light the first ever Independence Day celebration in history! But BETTER! We tried to stay quiet but we were giggling like school children (or crazy prisoners…you choose) as we sat at our little table enjoying our smuggled goods.

So, the truth is, I hated the dark room. I never wanted to go in the first place and I never want to return.

When we finally left, it was night time on day four. You can only leave at night so your eyes don’t get damaged from sudden sun-light. For the first 30 minutes of sight everything looked strange. It was either tilted or just plain abstract. Even the smallest amount of light gave me a headache that night. The day after that we continued our colonics and the day after that we went to see the elephants!

For another description from the same darkroom (different year) you can read In The Image of God by W. Xavier Staub. His experience was considerably more colorful. He is VERY dramatic. (Laughing.)

This piece from my journal holds so much in it that I will save the other half (yes, there’s more) or another post.

I also want people to know that I have recommended this retreat to people who have been studying the Tao and wish to go farther. I have since learned more about Tao learning and understand that this retreat can be very beneficial for those who are genuinely interested. I also tell them how much I hated it though. :-D

Please do not alter photos in any way. Please only borrow photos for PERSONAL use and please ALWAYS give Dana R. Atwood credit for the pictures you use. Thanks!